On Saturday, while cutting up a potato I experienced a squirming, wrenching, very agonising pain in my upper back to the left of my spine and just under the shoulder blade (a sure sign I should have a chef or eat take-outs!).
I’m pretty good with pain but this almost made me sick, I bent over the kitchen sink and tried to breathe through the pain. That didn’t help, it wasn’t going away. So I did what any sensible person would do …
I asked Google.
Huge mistake, this pain in this area could be a symptom of a dislocated rib, or maybe even an aortic tear.
In the next few moments I had the panic within me, was this my final few moments? I felt clammy and a little sick and kinda over-dramatic but I was scared.
I didn’t want to die.
After years of Major Depression (salute goes here) where I often went to sleep not bothered if I didn’t wake up in the morning, in those few moments of fear I knew I no longer felt like that. I wanted to live.
I have hopes and dreams ahead of me, I am about to embark on a PhD – a dream I have cherished for over ten years – I have a lovely home, wonderful children, awesome friends. Future plans to travel and do things I haven’t done before (like camping at BlueDot, I can survive 3 nights surely. Can’t I???)
Life is good. Life is worth living.
I hope that anyone reading this who still feels life isn’t worth living will see that it does pass, there are good things ahead, and you will be happier alive. I made it, so can you.
P.S. I went to the out-of-hours GP after calling our 111 service and she checked me over and said it was most likely a pulled muscle. Cutting an effing potato!
P. P. S. It still bloody hurts and it’s Monday now