Formal student registration in progress, filled in the forms, supplied the obligatory photo for ID. When I log on to the uni intranet I see staff and student information … the dream is solidifying into reality.

Over the last few months I’ve started to follow more academic and PhD related accounts, saving tidbits of knowledge, squirreling them away in the digital burrow for later consumption. And I’ve seen an occasional “when are you too old to start a PhD” (answer: never, when I was completing my MA in Historical Research there was an awesome lady in her 80s completing her PhD). However, despite by confident-sounding “never” I do have those 4am-why-am-I-awake-at-this-time doubts.

Along with the doubts about a number there are the ones which slide in questioning what I can contribute, the ones that remind me of my bucket-with-a-hole memory, the ones that whisper insidiously in me ear “you’re not good enough”. Thankfully, I have learned to ask these doubts to kindly frak off because I have work to do, a life to live, a dream to capture.

And I have an awesome support network, friends and work colleagues (these groups definitely overlap) who I know will be waving their metaphorical pom poms for me throughout the next few years.

I finished (well, all the books written so far) the fantasy series I wanted to read yesterday – J. V. Jones Sword of Shadows if you’re interested. So, the next couple of weeks are full of me trying to get to grips with all the jargon and “big-words” that I’ve forgotten over the years, and learning new apps to help me on my journey and keep my research in some kind of order. Oh, and finishing Star Trek Voyager re-watch.

I am excited.